She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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