using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
