im gay
i know
yea but for you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
