Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
