wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
