You really coming over, don't trick.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
