she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
