Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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