We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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