you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
cat food counts as protein by the way
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
