I think my vagina is haunted
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
