idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
