I must be too annoying 4 u.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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