bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
