the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
