"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
