he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
