please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
