I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
