I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
