I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
