I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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