Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
