It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
