it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
