dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
