Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
