Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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