My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
