i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
