So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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