I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
