smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
