I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
