let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
