I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We're too hungover to prance.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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