My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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