Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
