direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
