U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
