Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
