you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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