Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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