Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
