No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
