And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
