ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
