make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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