Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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