It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
