went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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