I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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